((insert Bob Ross intro music)) And now....a moment with Ascension Trip #2

So, there were many, many different scenes that I got on Ascension Trip #2.  One of them was particularly priceless because of what I did.

So let's rewind this a bit....when I did Ascension Trip 2, I did not go with friends because I wanted to see what it would be like doing this more or less without the comfort of my friends.  That and I had scheduling issues.  So when I did Trip 2 I was coupled up with one other lady.  She was about my age and super nice.  I had no clue who she was but as I found out MUCH later (like, 5-7 minutes before the show was over)...

The woman was Darren Lynn Bousman's wife, Laura Bousman.

And I can't look at her straight in the face anymore lol poor girl saw too much.

Anyhow, while Laura and I were in the white room with Simon (British guy who basically screams at you like a DI) she is directing my attention to this box in the middle of the room, situated on top of a table.  She whispered to me to go for the box.  I'm like, "what, Simon is right there".  Not to mention an ass ton of interview ladies that would most assuredly rat me out the second I move.  So Laura is just going on and on about the box.  I insisted that the timing has to be right to get it.  After getting sat on by a dude (per request of Simon) and hence ruining any chance of getting into the box I basically resigned to just forget about it.  BUT we then got in line and I happen to be in the back, really close to the box.

Laura looks behind, giving me the eye like 'go. for. the. BOX.'  And I think I just shook my head.  You see, I figured inside the box is a cell phone.  During trip number 1 my friend Morgan unlocked the box with a code and retrieved the cell phone.  I think he winded up calling a number and the phone number was dead.  So, rather than taking some newbies chance, I told the guy behind me to just go for the box.  He declined.  As we were leaving all the "follow all rules, don't be an ass and ruin the flow of this thing, be a good girl and behave" suddenly left and I went for the god damn box.  Because fuck it, what will be the worst that happens to me?  The thing I worried the most was somehow wrecking the moving parts of this entire theater piece but it was very spur of the moment.  I grabbed the cell phone and thought "man Melissa you are a sneaky, sneaky bastard".

Nope.

As soon as I grabbed the phone a interview lady FREAKED THE FUCK OUT and was like "STOP STOP STOP" and immediately ratted me out to Simon.  So, rather than stuff that phone in my shoe like my original plan, I palmed it.  Because you know, cell phones can totally be palmed. 

HA.
and
HAHA.

I passed my Academy of Magical Arts magician audition with a coin palm routine.
Try palming this. REALLY palming this.
Spoiler alert:  you can't.

Ohh.....Simon was not happy.  But, when he went to tear me an new asshole in front of everyone something strange happened:

SIMON:  WHY DID YOU LOOK IN THE BOX
Me:  ((head down, in submission, genuinely feeling like I was fucked)) I was curious.
SIMON:  THERE IS NOTHING IN THE FUCKING BOX
Me: (lying through my damn teeth)) no, nothing in the box.
...
Me:  sorry.

I thought for sure he would have noticed my palms all clinched up.  But nope.  Or well, the controllers probably told him to just say nothing was in the box/not search me?  Yay?!

And that was it...Simon tears into everyone about falling out of line we're all in super trouble.  Meanwhile people were giving me the "girl what is wrong with you" look.  While I had the chance I unzipped my jumpsuit and took said horribly palmed phone and stuffed it into my bra (HOORAY FOR TIT STORAGE). 

While in the clock room the same lady who ratted me out came in and said something to the effect of "Simon keeps a decoy phone, take this instead".  I was like....huh.  I was having trouble hearing in this room but I think that's what she said.

So we do a quick phone switch-a-roo, non decoy phone goes into my bra. *whistles like nothing happened*

And once I was in the 'sacred room' with Laura my phone goes off.   Vibrating away and ringing in my left tit.   No, I don't answer, I should have...but I was like deer in the headlights. 

oh shit dude.

Meanwhile the priest looks at me like I lost my damn mind, kneels down, screams in my face "WHERE IS THIS DISTRACTION!?"  While the phone was still ringing I dug out the phone and handed it to him.  It flips it open and flashes the number so quickly I couldn't memorize the number.  He threatens punishment, I sit there thinking "I'm so dead" but fortunately Overseer came in and she gave no fucks that I was a bad girl.  On we went with the Overseer.  

Thank Anoch, I didn't want to drink vinegar again (shudder).

So while this little moment that wind up not panning out anything huge discovery for me (probably because I missed my opportunity) or unlocking a secret scene...just getting the phone was SO HARD for me.  I don't like disobeying, I don't like being the rebel.   I just wanna behave (mostly) and not cause any trouble.  So, just being egged on to rebel (tip my hat to Laura who pushed me) MESSED WITH ME SO MUCH.  I do wonder whether that was all by design or whether DLB  was like "WHOA FUCK SHE'S GOING FOR THE BOX" followed by impromptu instructions to the cast on what to do next.  Makes me wonder--can't wait to see what DLB has in store in the future.

So good.

So....I did Ascension

Because hardly anybody reads this there will be spoilers but they are blacked out, just in case.  If you want to read them simply click and drag in the blacked out area and you should be able to get the details. Also I'm going to post a bit of afterthoughts about Indoctrination (which was the online/in-person/7-ish month long saga that I did since early March) in another post.

LOL it's all spoilers.

I did Ascension on Saturday at 8pm with a bunch of people I know:  Mike, "Daela", Morgan, Buz, Tiffany, Kim, and Sean.  We were instructed to meet at a parking lot in Boyle Heights a half hour before the actual event.  I will absolutely admit I was REALLY nervous before this thing even started.  We collectively tried to goof off but ya I was hyped.  At precisely 8pm we were greeted by a gentleman who one-by-one called our names and frisked us for "contraband".  He told us to get into the van and put on a black hood.  I was the first one called and was instructed to go into the very back of the van.  One-by-one all my friends and one other person who I never met before (we all figured she's a plant) climbed into the van and we were told by the driver and the passenger to shut the fuck up and put our hoods on.  The van immediately got quiet.  Several moments later, the van took off and we were being transported to...where ever the heck we were going.  Moments later I heard opera music.  The driver started to drive more aggressively, taking fairly tight turns, purposely giving us a bit of a rough ride.  And then, he slammed on the breaks.  I heard the passenger door open, van door open, van door shut, passenger door shut...and off we went.  This happened several times until I realized that we were being dropped off one-by-one to where ever we were going.  And because I was the first one in the van, I figured I was last one out.  This honestly scared the shit out of me.   The passenger took off my hood, unbuckled my seat belt and immediately said "get out, go to that door and pound on it a bunch of times, go go go!"  I got out the van and ran to the door just pounding on it as much as I could.  The door opened and I was greeted by this lady:

She had a really heavy Southern accent and seemed so nice but had a devious smile.  She gave me my personal file which seemed blank and I didn't have much time to examine it, sadly.  I was directed to go to the photographer's room next door.

This room was a fucking disaster area, photos ALL OVER THE PLACE.  And yes, the man you see in the LA Times photo is the guy who took my photo.  He also told me that should the experience ever become too much the safe word was "coward".  Honestly when I heard that I think I gave a groan because who wants to scream out "COWARD" in immersive theater.  Basically you declare yourself as such in effort to terminate a game that is already too much for you?  Ah man, what a mind fuck.

Then I was directed to a very large room that looked like part library, part entertaining room.  

From my recollection there were two young women that had a Calvin Klein heroin-chic model look, except in tattered off white dresses.  There were also several older people in the room.  One man was in the middle of giving a toast or...just ended it?  Mind you I was the last person to arrive so I definitely missed some dialouge.  There was also an elderly lady (Mildred) next to the man and a heavy-set woman (Ina) on the adjacent couch.  There as also a quiet woman playing with a jigsaw puzzle.  While my friends were basically snooping around the room, I somehow got caught up in a game with the elderly man and Mildred.  It was a fairly innocent game of "Two Truths, One Lie" until it was Mildred's turn....who basically said she never shanked someone in prison and watched them bleed on the floor, she never killed for pleasure, and she never ever did something else horrendous (I forgot).....so ya, creepy.  What's HER lie?  Then Mildred wanted to dance with the man and at that point I went over to my friends to see what they uncovered.




Ina though stepped in and was distraught saying that Mildred took her man away.  We all kinda gave the sympathetic "there-there" look but Ina didn't stop.  She went over to the dancing couple, asked to cut in, and shouted at Mildred to SHARE YOU BITCH.  The woman who was playing with the jigsaw puzzle then came to me and whispered "I am going to fucking bludgeon Ina in the back of her head" or something very close to that.  At that point I realized that some of my friends were gone.  A young lady came to several of us, directing us to go through the next door.

This was basically a locker room.  

 I was with Mike, Buz, and older African American lady and a man who was previously identified as "Ellis Gordon" (dude pointing in the picture was not present but I wanted to include the photo to give you an idea what I was look at).  Ellis told us to get ready for processing and STRIP.  Now, in a disclaimer that was given to us by email several days prior we were told to wear "modest undergarment" which was a huge warning that we were going to be not wearing our clothing in this experience....honestly I didn't think I'd be stripping in front of total strangers and a good friend of mine.  I think I hesitated but I was urged to hurry up so....off went my pants and I did my best not to look at my friends who were also getting nearly naked.  I handed over my pants and shirt into a trash bag and off I went into the next room.  Right before I left though I was told two things:  don't put on your shoes (oooookay) and I believe I was told "don't sit at the desk" I honestly thought I misheard (I didn't come in with hearing aids) so was really confused.  What desk?

This room was just a hallway but soon we were led into a room that was completely white.  White furniture, white pillars, white everything (except the concrete).  

This was the processing room.  An English fellow with a very bad attitude (think of the loudest Drill Instructor ever but with a Cockney accent) told all of us cunts to line up.  I don't know why but Mike did not follow any instruction and so I literately saw this guy take Mike by the throat to get his attention.  Mind you, Mike has done many extreme haunts so those that are directing Ascension probably know to give Mike a more...rough treatment.  Me on the other hand was in "do whatever this guy says/don't piss this dude off" mode.  Even still he got up right in my face, practically nose-to-nose and screamed "WHEN YOU ARE IN HERE, YOU ARE MINE!"  English dude shouted at more people, gave some a good shove, and eventually told me to sit my ass down in front of the television and listen.  The television was playing a black and white infomercial about OOA.  After a while I was told to sit at a desk with a woman who interviewed me.  I did some word associations, answered a few questions that weren't terribly invasive...but then shit got weird.  She handed over a photo of a barn and asked me "how many bodies are in the barn".  I looked at her like she lost her mind.  I think I said "zero" because honestly I blurted it out when in fact I should have said I have no idea.  She pressed, asking me over and over how many bodies are in there and how did they die.  This was rather effective because I'm sure Tension knows how evidence driven I am so to be forced to answer a question like THAT was just driving me bonkers.  Meanwhile DI Angry Face comes over and is shouting at the interviewer to HURRY THE FUCK UP.  So imagine being questioned by this lady while DI Angry Face is right over your shoulder, never blinking.  No pressure, right?

I feel like this blog is not doing justice at all for what I went through but I'll press on.  After processing I was told to line up and FINALLY got to put on my shoes (I was told not to put them on so I literately carried them until the DI said to put them on).  Next we were led into the same hallway and down a corridor that dumped into a large garage area.   That's when I saw an open door that appeared to be a room with red walls.  The fabled red room.




In game, the red room is like the most feared room to go into.  Naturally I was REALLY nervous when I saw this.  We were ordered to go into the room, door locked behind us.  The room was in fact all red except the floor which was completely covered in sand.  There were two actors in this room, completely naked and in black paint.  That's when the timer on the wall was counting down 8 minutes.  So, we were in an escape room.  Fortunately someone found a key in the sand fairly quickly which unlocked a box that prompted all of us to stand in a certain way and one participant to go up at the podium and answer a personal question.  If the question was answered to the naked people's satisfaction they would hand over another key....but first they did some very, VERY provocative dance which eventually led to simulated sex.  So ya....that was awkward.

We did get out in time though! :)

Next we went into a clock room which was incredibly cool.  

This room had an old woman sitting in a chair that appeared to be dead.



After exploring for just a short bit we were ordered to line up 2 rows and to look into the eyes of the person next to us.  Yes of course this winds up being Mike.  As I stared at Mike I swear to Christ he crossed his eyes at me and normally I'd laugh but uh...adrenaline at this point was just too high.  The girls in the room gave a monologue about time followed by a command for us to lay down on the floor.  At this point the lights went out.  The girls still were doing monologue except now shouting at us, asking when we're finally gone will anybody notice/care?  This hit me hard as this is actually one of my biggest fears is that when I die there will be nobody there to give a shit.  I think this was one of the first moments where Tension actually struck a personal nerve.  After we were ordered to stand I was told to stay as well as Buz.  The rest my group went to a different place.  At this point this guy approached us:



And gave Buz and I a choice:  either we can follow our "safety net" of friends or we can go to another door which may lead to salvation or the end of this journey.  We were given only 10 seconds to make our decision.  Mind you Buz and I at times didn't get along (it wasn't terrible but it could have been better) on forum.  Buz in fact had to play in game and kill a gatekeeper so for all I know this easily could have been a trap, I guess?  But when Buz  looked right at me and said "I'll stay with you" he seemed really sincere and I was actually quite touched.  I think Buz picked up on the fact that I was very nervous from the start so I thought was very kind of him to basically say "I'm with ya buddy".  And so off we went to the next room, without our friends.

From what I remember it was a classroom that was in shambles with papers all over the place, bicycles (why bicycles?) and a half-eaten apple on one desk.  We were told by the man who gave us a choice in this portion of the experience that we were going to be taught a lesson.  Buz and I were ordered to sit down at a desk and watch the slides on the screen.  It was more-or-less propaganda by the OOA.  As we sat in silence we were told we were going to be tested on the material.  The teacher then came to me and put the half-eaten apple in my face and said, "bite".  I found a portion of the apple that didn't look like it hadn't been munched on yet and went for it.  I nearly declined but here's what was going through my mind:  in the disclaimer it basically says that you have to listen to all the commands otherwise you risk being kicked out.  While it says "listen to all commands" that to me seems like it also says "follow along with what we say".  I think I read into that too much initially because it wouldn't be any fun if we could not say no.  Anyhow as we were watching this propaganda there were quick flashes of words and phrases.

Afterward we were kicked out of the class, I saw this as we got out:



Buz and I were ordered to line up against a wall, and quizzed on a lot of the material that was in the film.  Buz and I did so-so, if we got the answer wrong the teacher could just correct us but it was more like a stern father tone.

Afterward we were led into "the sacred room".  There were two actors, robed and chanting.  They didn't seem to know we were even there.  As I looked at all the dried herbs that were hanging from the ceiling, the colorful hoods in the front and the person on the floor praying I was enchanted by the sight of this particular room.  I actually found it peaceful.  But that was all taken away when the robed man saw Buz and I and ordered us to kneel in this sacred room.  The robed man went into a sermon about the One that had all his senses removed by force in order to Ascend (I think that's what he said).  The woman then brought out a tincture that looked like eye drops.  Sure enough the robed man told Buz and I to tilt back our heads and the woman immediately started to drop liquid right on our faces and eyes.  Not a big deal.  At this point we were blindfolded and had a mask put over our mouth.  As we stood up the priest said "blessed be the blind for they truly see, blessed be the deaf for they enjoy the silence".  This actually had a really big impact on me because of my hearing loss.  At the moment it's unknown whether my hearing loss will become worse or if this loss has stabilized.  Hearing the "blessed be the deaf for they enjoy the silence" is not the easiest thing to hear when you're potentially losing your hearing.   Then we were guided into the next room and I felt a chair behind me.  The man in this room told me to sit down.

This room was hell.  First we were told to place our hands in front of us and to touch the sacrifice that was placed before us.  Whatever was on the table it was cold, goopy, and sticky.  The preacher or whoever he was went into a lecture how the OOA does not waste any portion of the animal so this totally planted the idea that I was touching the entrails of....something.  Then he asked if we ever considered how the animal felt as it died for us to eat.  This actually really got to me as I used to be vegetarian for pretty much that reason:  animal cruelty (I have since changed my tone but I still struggle sometimes).  The preacher went on about how removing taste and smell would get us closer to ascending.  He explained that he made a special concoction to remove the sense of taste and told us to hold out our hand.  I felt a small cup, like those tiny ones used at church.  Told Buz to drink first and I didn't hear him whine at all.  Then I heard the priest closer to me and I was order to drink.  It was apple cider vinegar.

I.
HATE.
VINEGAR.
SO.
FUCKING.
MUCH.

And as soon as that shit hit my mouth I spat it right out and was gagging.  Of course the preacher said I wasn't done so I tried to drink the rest of the vinegar but my body was having no part of that.  I think my jumpsuit was basically covered in vinegar at this point and I was retching HARD.  Even Buz was asking me if I was okay and I just had to focus to get my shit together.  I actually have a strong stomach (you have to with my line of work) but kuddos to Tension on basically getting the one thing that REALLY grosses me out.  Just when I thought this shit was over, lol nope.  The preacher said we will now taste the flesh that was on the table and at that point I was losing my mind and tears were just rolling down my face.  I don't want to eat that gross shit that people had their hands on previously, EW!  Fortunately Tension isn't completely twisted and the preacher got what felt/tasted like plain cold gelatin in a cube form.  Buz was told to open his mouth and taste first and I could hear that poor guy GAGGING (he has issues with texture).  So here I was, blindfolded and not having a clue what Buz just consumed but absolutely dreading my turn.  But when I told to open my mouth and I tried the "flesh" I had no problem with it at all.  I was like, "hm, plain gummy".  THEN the preacher told us we will now lose our sense of smell.  I was like aw god what the fuck are they going to do?  Next thing I hear Buz coughing and gagging and before I could really process what was going on I felt my mask being removed and the definitive odor of ammonia invaded my nostrils.  Ugh it was so gross, I coughed just as much as Buz.  The preacher was pretty much done with us and we were directed out of the room except now we had ear buds in that had a lot of white noise.  So, great, now we're blind, deaf, tasteless, smell-less, how are they going to fuck with our sense of touch?

Well, that was the next room.  I was guided into whatever that room was but I had to just stand there.  While listening to the white noise I felt someone hitting me with a paddle, a hand or a riding crop and anywhere on my body was game except my face.  At one point the person who was dealing the blows got me on my left tit and OMG OW.  OW. OW. OW.  This went on for like a minute or two until someone removed my ear buds.  Turns out the person who was in this room was a woman and she had kinda Calipso (Pirates of the Caribbean) kinda vibe.  Calipso bound my hands with rope and out of the blue dunked my hands in very hot paraffin wax.  I know I went "UGGGHHHHH" and I guess that scared the shit out of Buz.  She did the same to Buz and I felt wax so all over my shoes.  She shoved us out of the room with our ear buds back in.  I have no idea where Buz went at that point but I was shoved and pushed to walk forward.  Since I was now "senseless" I couldn't see a damn thing nor hear anything that was going on.  So I just walked around and if I wasn't pushed or guided I would just stop.  I think I basically did a bunch of switch backs in a hallway or room until I was finally led somewhere that had a chair that was reclined.  |

I felt the ear buds finally come off and a man telling me he was going to get a small shot.  He started to scrub (here comes anatomy!) antecubital fossa which is actually used commonly for blood draw, not a shot.  So, that actually didn't make me nervous at all; if anything that kinda took me out of feeling tense.  Then he removed my blindfold and mask and holy moly I must have looked like hell and stunk of vinegar.  The doctor started to remove the bindings on my wrist and most of the wax on my hands.  I think it was this guy:

Except he had a lab coat I think?

He just stared at me for a while and said he wanted me to take a pill.  It looked like a breath mint.  So I looked at him and was like, "down the hatch?"  He nodded and I just swallowed it whole and even opened my mouth to show "hey I did it".  At that point he just looked at the pill bottle and said "I'll be right back" and kept looking back at me like with this "is she okay" look.  I got up and started to explore the room a bit.  There were bags of blood hanging from an IV, xrays, unfortunately I didn't have much time to look before that doctor came back.  He told me to sit down and told me that he gave me the wrong pill due to a bottle labeling issue.  At that point he took out a glass bottle that said "ipecac syrup".  The doctor was apologetic, pointed to the bottle and was like "you know what this is?" and omg that's when logic just flew out the window.  These were the things that went through my head:

1.)  I don't want to take ipecac
2.)  Just had a delicious burrito from El Teyapac and I really don't want to vomit.
3.)  There's no trash can, if I were to purge where the hell would it go?
4.)  OMG I DON'T WANT TO INDUCE VOMITING.

Aaaaand that's when I legit like lip curl very unhappy Melissa came out.  I was like "yes I know what that stuff is" and the doctor was like "I'm so sorry".  I think at that point he said he'll be right back and while I was alone I was curling myself up in a ball and I know I was saying "SHIT!" while trying to just pull myself together.  Two things were going through my brain: 1.) crying in front of an actor for something that can't ETHICALLY be done and 2.) I bet you this is all on camera and I'm mortified.  I think Tension totally took advantage of me being a toxicologist and very  likely would know what ipecac is without explanation.  Pretty effective!  

I really don't remember what happened next but I think the photographer guy came in and said 'we have to go' and led me to the next room.  So there I am just trying to gain my composure (poorly) while being led into a church-like room.  This place had pews and a large OOA symbol up in the front as well as two chairs on a stage.

That neon sign was so cool.

This room had most of the participants just sitting there quietly in their own pew.  There were also a few actors that were joining in and listening to the sermon that was being given by none other than Gatekeeper 2 (Addison) in her red dress.  Nice that stuff came full circle with Indoctrination.  When I sat down a man in robes sat right next to me and stared me down.  I had no idea what he wanted so I just stared right back.  He left and soon that Ellis Gordon guy from the changing room sat next to me.  At that point Mike and the girl who was supposedly part of our group (lol no, she was definitely a plant) went on stage and sat down on their chairs.  Gatekeeper 2 started the sermon saying these two have been chosen for Ascension and at that point Buz came out with a tray of stuff.  Two "servant girls" in the tattered white dresses  then draped Mike and plant girl's faces.  Then they started to bind their arms and legs with duct tape to the chair.  This is when I was like....wtf is about to happen.  Then out of nowhere they took a bottle and soaked a rag and shoved it under Mike's face drape.  Mike started to squirm, moan, struggle then appeared to be lifeless.

Aaaaaaand that's where I totally lost it.  Not bawling but I definitely got emotional.  I remember trying to convince myself "this is fake, Mike is okay" but I just saw someone who I consider a good friend harmed.  Before I could really go through any more rationalization the servant girls took the tools that Buz had and got to work on the plant girl.  First they simulated gouging her eyes out, taking an ice pick to her ears (all the while the actress was SCREAMING bloody murder) and finally her neck was "snapped".  People in the audience were shouting Glory Be and clapping.  This honestly didn't bother me.  Granted there was a BUNCH OF BLOOD all over the place but the neck snap was not done in any type of way that was convincing....probably for the safety of the actress....that I just sat there and watched.  When I looked over again at Mike, still not moving, I once again got panicky.  Gatekeeper 2 and the girls suddenly realized their procedure was botched/didn't work and we were ordered OUT.  I initially started to go but then Morgan started to scream "Mike! Mike!" and yelling at the actors if Mike was chloroformed without consent.  And ya that's when I pieced it together.  We never signed a waiver so Morgan kinda had a point to make there and I got furious right there with him.  Stuff gets a little fuzzy here but I remember going BACK into the room with Morgan and I think I had to be dragged out or at least put up resistance.  Morgan I think gave up trying to somehow rescue Mike so we both got out of there, shaken.  I said out loud "I know that wasn't real, that was incredibly hard to watch Mike go through that!" while Kim was just consoling me.  We exited the hall and it dumped into what looked like horse stables.  The "stable" had a bunch of white trash bags that had our clothing.  We just stood around wondering what the hell happened.  I was hugging Morgan and still emotional but he kinda put me to reality that I just completed my first extreme immersive theater.  I think I sorta went from "why the fuck did I do this" to "whoa I did that AND I didn't call safety".  Mike eventually came out and so did a bunch of actors out of character which was just .... surreal.  Then Darren Bousman and Clint Sears came out.  It was so fucking crazy that they were calling us by first names AND giving us all hugs.  I was still very much dazed when Darren came over and was like "are you okay Melissa, come here" (hug).  I was like....I'm being hugged by a horror director....okie dokie.

They left and we all just looked at each other, exchanging stories but we were still in our jump suits and in a  stable.  So I forgot who initiated the conversation of where do we get dressed but I was like fuck it I'm getting naked in front of you fuckers.  So ya we all got back in our regular clothing in a horse stall in a back lot of a warehouse in  Boyle Heights.  Whatever that is next level friendship right there.  A van soon thereafter picked us up and dropped us off at the parking lot.  Afterwords we decompressed at a bar in downtown Los Angeles and exchanged more stories, met up with the later groups and laughed a lot.  

Initially I will admit that I felt like....why did I do this?  But then it totally hit me that these people were able to tap into more of a raw and totally not logical side of me that doesn't really come out.  I don't enjoy that but I do think it's cool they were able to provoke it effectively.  Did I enjoy crying in front of people?  No.  Did they use that against me though?  No.  The actors could have easily humiliated me when I was at my lowest but they didn't.  Instead they just kept rolling with it and I have to respect that they actors do recognize when people (or at least me) were already pushed over the edge. Plus holy moly the set details for every room was INCREDIBLE.  Also, the fact that I was able to kinda let myself go a bit and buy into this effed story of a cult that is just TOO MUCH is actually kinda cool.  So ya, bravo to Tension Experience team, you messed with my head and I actually liked it.  As a matter of fact I actually thought about going back just to do things differently.  

Catching up Part I

So Indoctrination ended....I think.

On Sept 7th a bunch of us were invited to go to The Think Tank Gallery in DTLA at 6pm to witness Gatekeeper One's arrival.

Here's the video

When I arrived with my group we knocked on a door and a woman grabbed me by the arm and asked me why I was here and who sent me.  I told her I was here to bear witness to One and that Addison sent me.  This lady had me sign a book and had me put on a hood.  There, she lead me into a room that had distorted noises and "glory be" over and over.  She told me to remain still and not to remove my hood.  I stood there for a while until the sounds stop and I could hear Gatekeeper 2's voice.  She still had us remain still and hooded though.  She applauded several people's efforts, including mine, which was really nice.  During her speech however the voices of Gatekeeper 5, ~four, and III were definitely present.  So....was I right and they're not dead?  Or is this suppose to symbolize what's going on in Addison's head or is this a supernatural thing?  Who knows.

At the end of Gatekeeper two's speech we were instructed to take off our hood to meet Gatekeeper One.  When I took off my hood I realized I was standing in a giant circle with my fellow Apostles, looking at each other.  Two then explained that we created the new book of Anoch and that we are all One.  I'll totally admit that when I heard this I was like.....really, the hokey ending, well....it's an ending?

After that we were invited to enjoy ourselves and basically we went into mini-party mode.  Gatekeeper two looked worried and I even approached her to just give a head shake and she seemed really apprehensive.  I mean, I have not been exactly the biggest Gatekeeper two fan seeing that she KILLED ~four BUT......~four did basically torture Addison so.....I guess I could see why Addison would snap.  Do I approve of her methods, no.  Do I understand her perspective?  Sure.

Anyway the party lasted until Russell approached Two with stuffed cat.  This stuffed cat was given to Russell month's ago by Addison's dad (Tom).  The claim was that the stuffed cat would trigger memories for Addison and hopefully snap her out of this delusion.  Sure enough as soon as Russell handed the stuffed cat over to Two she started to panic and scream at us that this is all fake.  At which point the servers in the room all dropped their food trays and scooped up Addison/fled.  Some ran after her but no luck, we were blocked from going any further in game.

So....basically Indoctrination is over but what about Addison?

The next day there was a Periscope with a dead drop.  Participant Michael Gray got the letter which basically said "thanks for helping us out with getting Addison, she'll be better in a few days"--OSDM.  Ya those fuckers.

A few days later we see another Periscope with Addison coming out of a dark room, covered in blood.  She is lead in to a shower room where we see a red dress.  A man turns on the shower for Addison, who looks like a blank slate, and closes the door.....

Definitely not the end....

Tomorrow, Indoctrination Will End.

Lately Gatekeeper 2 has been alluding to One being ushered in on Wednesday.  It's a tough to know what exactly is going to happen tomorrow but one thing I can gather is that we're all going to witness it.

And some of us are going to be even invited to personally be there.  I naturally want to see the end of this, after all I put in a big time investment into Tension.  However if I'm not chosen I'll will be bummed, but not surprised.  Many new people are putting their names in the hat and it seems fitting to have them be the witness than people who have done this for a while (to spread the wealth I guess?)

Back to tomorrow.  What is going to happen?  At this point there's a consensus that it's going to be bad.

Theories on how this will end

-Gatekeeper 2 will be killed in front of us, ushering in One. I strongly believe Russell will have to do it.  Addison is suffering and that's been established now on forum.  Only Russell truly believes in her, he's going to be the only trusted one to finish Addison.
-One will show his Glory and by Glory that's probably code for "kill us all"

-OR-

-Gatekeeper 2 will be killed in front of us, ushering in One.  I strongly believe Russell will have to do it.  Addison is suffering and that's been established now on forum.  Only Russell truly believes in her, he's going to be the only trusted one to finish Addison.
-Gatekeeper 1 will be actually end this nicely *really doubt this*

-OR-

-Gatekeeper 2 is just toying with our emotions and will commit mayhem on us all.
-Gatekeeper 1 just sits there and strokes his beard -or- doesn't exist.  This was all a BoS trap.

-OR-

-Gatekeeper 2 comes in, OSDM takes over, kills us all.  One shows up and is confused.

-OR-

-BoS somehow triggers Addison with a combination punch of The Journal (which is in Rizzo's possession) and "Carlos".  2 melts down, Addison's dad comes to the gathering and whisks her away.  One never comes.

-OR-

-BoS somehow triggers Addison with a combination punch of The Journal (which is in Rizzo's possession) and "Carlos".  2 melts down, Addison's dad comes to the gathering and whisks her away.   One pops in and is like "lol nupe" and kills BoS.

-OR-

Gatekeeper 3 comes in, does a tap dance with his cane and bow tie and says 'haha suckers, you guys are idiots for believing this stuff' ~four comes in and gives us all the middle finger and leaves.

So in other words I have no fucking clue what is going to happen.

Been a while

So I went to ScareLA early August and man it was incredibly fun.  The Tension Experience panel was suffice to say...tense.

Rather than going into a bunch of details I'll refer to you to my friends podcast, they do an excellent job summarizing.  To make a long story short, a bunch of Tension Participants were invited to an exclusive panel at ScareLA where we were primed with the idea that we were all going to meet Ellis Gordon.  "Ellis" told us all that the Tension Experience is based off some old documents he found in a hidden compartment of  a desk.  At that point people from the audience that were not participants told us all that the OOA is not a game, it's very real.  Others warned us all that it's a cult.  So, kinda neat that this out of game panel became in game very quickly.  Near the end the panel was hijacked once again by the rival faction Brothers of Seraph and then we were kicked out.  I got to talk to a person who ran out of the room screaming "I didn't sign up for this, what the fuck is wrong with you guys" after she got a taste of Ascension.  She was obviously an actress (she said so) and claimed she was taken to a Red Room where she saw a bunch of photographs of herself in her own apartment.  I gave her my contact information hoping something story-wise would sprout from it but  it didn't.  I tried.

Lately story-wise things have been rather dull in my opinion.  Gatekeeper 2 or "Two" or "Addison" (all the same person) has been basically on the run from people that want to shut her down.  Occasionally there's been Periscopes (it's an app) of Two reading from the sacred Book of Anoch from various locations.  A participant that lives somewhere not in California even got a message from a man from the Oracles Security and Data Management (OSDM) that 'time is running out'.  Get this though, this man showed up at the participant's DOOR STEP.  I would have shit my pants if Tension showed up at my house and I'll have to say, VERY COOL for her.

Unfortunately shortly there after Tension took advantage of an out of game situation and turned it to in-game play that really, really rubbed me the wrong way.  I'll talk about this once Indoctrination is over (which is most likely Sept 7th, the day before Ascension starts) but suffice to say it really wrecked my experience to the point where I had no issues calling out The Creator on forum.  Many personal friends chirped back that trust hasn't been lost, which is fine, their opinion.  However I will not resort to lying about how I personally feel at this point, even if it means not having anymore creepy phone calls/promises made by Tension/OOA that will be broken.  

Back to the OSDM, basically they want to stop Gatekeeper 2 from bringing in Gatekeeper ONE (personally theory of mine is that Gatekeeper 1 is also the very first Gatekeeper from long ago, also known as Gatekeeper 242, possibly the Vessel of Anoch.  She also mentioned not too long ago that we have met One before....so who is One? 

It's the final countdown!!!

Now why is OSDM trying to stop this from happening?  Well, Gatekeeper Two also mentioned not long ago that the OOA is corrupt.  Worse than BoS.  A working theory that many of us on forum have is that when One shows up, this Gatekeeper is going to wipe out all the corruption, probably the OSDM.  On the flip side of the same coin, some people believe that this is all a ruse and that everybody is One.  Too hokey in my opinion to go down that route IMHO.  Others believe that Addison has a God complex and is going to destroy us all.  Who knows what will happen.

Meanwhile the LA Times, LAist, and other media have been advertising Ascension (just google it) and while I'm very excited about going through Ascension I'll have to say that it's taking the winds out my sails a bit.  It's been long rumored due to an information leak that Darren Bousman is behind all of this and these articles confirm that.  However, in game, characters are basically telling participants not to buy into it and that it's all smoke and mirrors.  While it's an interesting attempt, I just can't buy into it at all.  It's like me seeing who is Santa the night before Christmas (thanks Mom and Dad) and then trying to tell me Santa is really, really REAL and those present came from a jolly fat man who actually made it down the chimney.  

Riiiiiight.  I'm sure Santa ate those cookies too.

I am the TRUTH. I am THE LIGHT. I am......probably fucked.

So who do I support now? (warning: depiction of violence)

So ~four is (very likely) dead. :-/

On July 22nd, Kim (@electrichippo) from the Brothers of Seraph was invited to a meeting with an unknown agenda. Later on Instagram the Community sees this:

That's definitely Kim.

Later that evening the Community gets a youtube video of Kim telling all viewers that she was present to witness something.  The camera operator then pans over to the opening of a warehouse and the viewers finally see ~four's face as well as Addison.  III however, is not present.  Mind you a few days back another person on forum was basically begging III to meet with ~four and III actually agreed.  So the viewers were presuming that Kim/III and ~four/Addison were going to meet up.  Back to the video, ~four asks Kim the whereabouts of III, Addison is looking around kinda confused.  Addison then goes on about how she has to be sure about being the one (?).  ~four shuts her up, hears a car pull up and gives Addison a very large knife.  Addison walks away with the knife while the camera operator goes back to Kim and ~four.  ~four goes on a tirade about everything being filmed, how We should  really be living the moment and embracing everything we experience.  We see Addison coming closer to ~four, knife in hand and then BAM.  Addison cuts ~four's THROAT.  

Aw, fuck.

Addison then screams at ~four "I AM TWO! I'M IN FUCKING CONTROL!"  (pft, Addison, that was ~four's line and you know it).  While ~four bleeds out.  The last shot is Addison yelling at the camera operator to turn off the camera while ~four is presumptively on her final breath.  

III later on forum said he was late but more or less applauds Addison for killing ~four but alludes to that she is delusional that she is Gatekeeper 2.  Since then people have been jumping ship from the O.O.A. even more, declaring that they can not support Addison's actions.  To be honest, I'm now in the same boat.  Right now I consider myself hopeful that at some point Gatekeeper 2 will be out of the picture.  I actually have two theories how that will happen:

1.)  III will come back, furious, still proclaiming that he is the Last and Final Gatekeeper.  Him and 2 will throw down, Gatekeeper 1 will come in and get rid of them both.

2.)  Russell Eaton of My Haunt Life will have to kill Addison.  Right now in the plot Russell is basically the only person who is standing by Addison.  Russell has been warned countless times that things will get dark for him and what better way to make stuff REAL dark than forcing his hand into killing Addison/Gatekeeper 2.  Who knows, he may have that opportunity to give the bear and Addison may completely lose her mind, asking Russell to just end her suffering.

This blog is a bit all over the place but there is a few other items I want to address for my specific game-play.

I was probably the last person to hear from ~four.  She told me to rally up the troops and I feel like I failed.  Had I been a louder advocate for ~four, could things have gone differently?  Probably not.  I tried but also felt "rally for what?" and more importantly "when?"

Also, was ~four's death all by design?  ~four did a lot of talking like "we are locking and loading" and "I'll send you my fucking best" when it came to ending III.  So maybe ~four was just pushing Addison to come out of her shell, kill ~four, become Gatekeeper 2, and finally end III.  Or maybe this is just Addison snapping and killing ~four in a horrific way.  I'm honestly leaning towards the latter but on the flip side I'm HOPING that this was all by design so that I can support Addison rather than being in this weird "on the fence" position.  Being on the fence and observing is in-game a lame place to be.  Unfortunately Tension is not here to give you answers, you just kinda have to jump in blind faith.  Something I'm not ready to do at the moment.

Also, is ~four REALLY dead?  In the video we see ~four struggling but she's still moving as the camera turns off.  The gasping for breath indicates that Addison managed to do damage to ~four's larynx and/or trachea but the amount of blood wasn't enough to be fatal IMHO.  This is the Criminalist part in me taking over but I've seen neck wounds and this one didn't have the classic arterial spurt.  True, deaths don't require classics but something seems odd here.  I guess she could have died from suffocating?  When I worked at the emergency room just as a ward clerk I would see people surviving all sorts of injuries, neck wounds included.  I dunno, I just don't see ~four going down that easily.

Yes, Addison has additional blood stains on her face (seen in a Periscope video) which is a giant indicator something else occurred (either ~four with her bloody hands started to fend off Addison additional attacks or Addison "finished the job").  No matter how you slice it (zing) something else happened that we didn't see.  Since we don't have confirmation of ~four being really dead I actually hold out this bizarre conspiracy theory that ~four is alive, recovering, and fucking fuming at Addison for doing this.

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-

But since I have no idea what really happened and face value Addison murdered ~four and looney-tunes III is in alliance with the shadowy BoS, I'm kinda forced into a "I can't support either" stance.

And so I sit.....and wait for what's to come next.

Oh and late edit BUT quick plug here:  Ascension tickets are on sale and yours truly is going.  Eep.  You can absolutely have no involvement with the forum matters right now and still take part of Ascension.